Come, midget, and use my pillow as a sleeping bag.

“I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy…”

“I think we should keep politics out of church, and back in hell where it belong…”

“If my love for cats were hydrogen, there’d be enough of it to give you skin can…”

“I blew the love trumpet until my cheeks were blue. Then I paid 34 bucks for a t…”