Coupons are easy to counterfeit, so why not make a bunch of one dollar off coupons and sell each one for 50 cents? Then I could buy your love.

“I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor. 
”

“I think I speak for all the mutes when I say, “Silence is equality.” I’m sure t…”

“It’s not stealing if I didn’t know it was in anybody’s possession, and I didn’t…”

“We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was do…”