Dear Ian, I felt good. I felt like a Christian to the T. Also to the Chris, Ian.

“I can feel the weight of her love. It feels like a purse on my shoulder. When i…”

“Trying to stay within my budget, I bought napkins instead of underwear. They’re…”

“My life was unbalanced. That is, until I found love and grew a second leg.”

“I know it’s not your birthday, but would you like some birthday dick? It’s on s…”