Did you know you can drink food? It’s true! It’s called soup, and I eat it with a fork. I’m as efficient as the government.


“A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are…”

“I thought I did, but I guess I didn’t. But I did think I did, and it’s the thou…”

“I’m growing my hair out. Out of the country, because it’s cheaper to grow it in…”

“My skin hasn’t been sleeping. It stays awake just itching for a fight.”