Dinner is served. It’s chicken lo mein. Oh and by the way, your cat is missing.

“My facial features smell as rugged as a rose looks. Isn’t my nose the most roma…”

“It was a blustery winter night, back in the summer of 2009. That’s when we met,…”

“I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat hi…”

“I like to keep a shotgun in my room for protection. You know, just in case my a…”