Do not oppose my opposable thumbs. If you do, we’ll have a thumb war.

“Every time the sound of one of my farts reverberates in a toilet bowl, I think …”

“The diner was more twiner than Twain, and I found a mustache in my soup. Maybe …”

“I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It’s amazing that something a…”

“If I get on the elevator on the ground floor, the building has no basement, and…”