Don’t kill your wife—kill your wife’s mother, and make it look like your wife did it. Auteur: Jarod Kintz Copy Quote More from Jarod Kintz “His last name was Worthless. Or was that just the perfect word to describe him?…” “I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I nee…” “I wash my hair with strawberry jelly, because my favorite thing to eat for brea…” “After my first coaching experience, the field looked more like Gettysburg than …”