Don’t raise your hand to ask a question, or I’ll give you a surprise high five.

“On our first date, you should wear a maternity dress, because I’m going to try …”

“I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because y…”

“The abbreviation for Brazil, BRA, makes me think of breasts. I have no idea why.”

“I put the hop in IHOP, and jumped on my pan of pancakes and then on to Panama. …”