Don’t steal because it’s immoral, not because you’re afraid you’ll get caught.

“My cat’s name is Mr. Dog, and My penis’ name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that’s life…”

“The most environmentally friendly last name is Green.”

“I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I acci…”

“If kids six and under eat free, then I’m an infant. Or at least infantile. Brin…”