Don’t tell me to write your story. Write your own story. If you won’t write it down, it probably isn’t worth writing down—or reading.

“For God’s sake, man, cover up your erection. Here, use the back pocket of my je…”

“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t ther…”

“A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in yo…”

“My asshole smells like a paper mill. Three cheers for being a writer.”