Feel free to become a slave to your own clone. And mine. Remember, you can never have too many lovers who look exactly the same as me.

“I would never date Austin. Not that it’s gay, but it’s simply too densely popul…”

“She told me she might not be there when I get back, and I got so angry I said s…”

“I’m about to crash for the night, and I’m wearing a bicycle helmet to bed. I ma…”

“My favorite unit of time is the hour, because I collect them and store as many …”