Freedom isn't free. But there are some really great coupons if you know where to look. Buy one liberty, get the next one half off.

“I play the only instrument that takes in music rather than propelling it out: t…”

“I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I nee…”

“I like color commentators. Especially red, white, and blue color commentators. …”

“If a gorgeous woman hits on me right off the bat, I’m suspicious. I wonder what…”