Going to bed at sunrise, I find a blindfold helps me sleep. Also, I like it when my kidnappers put pillows in the trunk.

“My facial expression must have looked like a swarm of bees as I drank the hot b…”

“I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I c…”

“She said, “You disgust me. How do you live with yourself?” So I said, “Like I l…”

“I met her at the beach. Her name was Shelly.”