Green bananas are a go, and yellow bananas are a caution: these are too mushy to consume.

“I stole her perfume out of her car, and in its place I left a loud fart.”

“I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size," and I tho…”

“Ever since I was fired for sleeping on the job I’ve worn a shirt and tie to bed.”

“I’ve come a long way in the last year. 365 days, to be exact.”