Guy: 'Can't you take a cue off the music?'

Me: 'Can't I'm afraid. I'm tone-deaf.'

Bill: 'Well, when the singing stops. Even you must be able to tell the difference between singing and instrumental.'

Me: 'Bill, we've worked together long enough for you to know I'm so tone-deaf I can't tell the difference between music and silence.'

Chris: 'Look, I'll nudge you with my toe before I stab you.'

Me: 'It's all right, Bill. Chris is going to nudge me with his toe before he stabs me.'

Guy: 'A killer and a gentleman.

Auteur: Antony Sher