Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.

“To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a fam…”

“A brick could be used in a heart transplant operation. And for just $25,000 mor…”

“I always keep a Ziploc bag in my pocket, and wherever I go I fill up my bag wit…”

“I’m a miner, and I’m always dirty, because I’m constantly digging. Am I shoveli…”