Here you’ll find everything you don’t need—and much less!

“The only time I can throw 80 yards is when my football-shaped alarm clock goes …”

“I thought she was older than she was, and I thought she was younger than she wa…”

“My bed’s as big as a medium-sized apartment in New York City. And my erection i…”

“It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.”