He’s a buying dude, and I’ve got to sell him something—like my credibility. (On sale Today through Labor Day.)


“If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person w…”

“My headboard has bars, like a jail cell. Sometimes I’ll be asleep and think I’m…”

“I want to be the guy who the guy you admire admires. I hope his name is Guy, be…”

“I ate Satan, and then shit out a snake.”