I am a people person, and I know how to make people feel comfortable, especially without wearing pants.

“Thomas Jefferson is by far the smartest president,” said Thomas Jefferson, abou…”

“To treat everyone equally is offensive, because it fails to recognize anyone as…”

“Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly ho…”

“It is Father’s Day today. I should probably call all three of mine and say Hell…”