I am Captain Aptitude. Well, I will be, once I get acclimated to the climate at this altitude.

“There’s always something to talk about, even if you talk about how there is not…”

“I am who I pretend to be, and right now I’m pretending to be my own clone.”

“I decide to scope out craigslist to see all the vibrant economic employment opp…”

“I’ve got an up-to-the-minute block of 60 seconds. It’s on the kitchen counter t…”