I am not a professionally trained professional. I am an amateur professional!

“When I need to be in two places at once, make two decisions at once, that’s wha…”

“I have a double-breasted suit. It’s got four nipples stitched on the front (two…”

“I can Grandma like nobody’s business. Hey, mind your own, grandpa, before I go …”

“A brick could be used to not be used. Is my hair waving in the wind, or are you…”