I am the kangaroo of love. Do you question it? You can take your skepticism and stuff it straight down my pouch.

“How not to get rejected: ask a fat chick out to dinner. Do you think obesity ev…”

“How many ways can I say “I love you”? I could say it in another language, like …”

“If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra?”

“I wash my hair with strawberry jelly, because my favorite thing to eat for brea…”