I am the orangutan of love. OK, who am I kidding? I’m merely the love monkey.

“We’ve got a tortilla chip type of love. So am I to blame if I’m looking for a l…”

“A blanket could be used to keep me single. Not that I need any help from anybod…”

“Dear Mr. Peacock,
I miss your plumage, and I’m flummoxed by your plummeting des…”

“Ever since the day I came out of the womb, I’ve had impeccable timing. For exam…”