I am who I’ve been pretending to be my whole life.

“1-12, how many Decembers does it take to sell thirteen to Mr. Fourteen and Mr. …”

“I planted a tree. You’d think my neighbors would be happy for the shade it woul…”

“I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hung…”

“When I was a kid, I’d leave my door cracked with a piece of lint on top, and if…”