I call masturbating “Gregging,” named not after a man named Greg, but a guy named Dave.

“The president spends most of his time playing golf and vacationing. But the tim…”

“Back in high school, I started a gang called “The Illiterates.” To easily ident…”

“I won’t allow anyone to buy you a clock. Not on my watch.”

“My asshole is supportive of me. No matter what, good or bad, it’s always right …”