I can do what Olympians couldn’t do. Of course they couldn’t do it because they were infants when I picked a moment in time to compare myself to them.

“Dead men’s fingernails make lovely shallow-grave shovels.”

“How many birthdays can you fit in your lifetime? If you answered "All of them,"…”

“I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my c…”

“I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell li…”