I can fly a plane, but I can’t fly a planet. Not without a seatbelt the size of the equator. The way I eat @McDonalds, I may need a seatbelt that fat.

“Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will kee…”

“I’m like a tree frog when it comes to birthdays. Basically, my thoughts on birt…”

“This book has nothing to do with cats. Or mice. Or self-motivation. This book i…”

“Of all the pessimistic people, I am the most optimistic. I look forward to look…”