I can go from zero to sixty in 59 M.P.H.

“I eat spaghetti with my fingers, because it reminds me of me running my fingers…”

“I finish what I start, and I Finnish what I Swedish.”

“The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating comm…”

“I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by din…”