I can provide a witness who didn’t see me at the scene of the crime. That witness can also prove they didn’t see me anywhere else either, thus showing that I didn’t exist at that moment in time.

“I want to be the leading man in a story about followers.”

“I don’t have a tan because I only come out at night. The only sun I get is refl…”

“The mobster came by my establishment and said I needed protection. “Nope,” I re…”

“I put the yes in eyes. Except when I blink, because that’s definitely a no acti…”