I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m in a touchy-feely mood.

“I’ve decided I like making love on rainy days. Ever since she asked me to wear …”

“If liquid courage smelled like cologne and gushed out of my penis, I’d make a b…”

“As early as 1,000 BC, man had to wait nearly 3,000 years to talk to me. And my …”

“When the fog lifts on this economy, I think we’ll find a lot of people refusing…”