I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so heavy it’s like an anti flotation device. If I can barely even carry it, I can understand how it’s a burden to you and why you don’t want to keep it in your heart.

“I vote to have my vote voided—which means my vote won’t count even when it coun…”

“Read people by their surroundings, their personally designed environments. Like…”

“How many midget feet can you fit in your shoes? Depends on how big your penis i…”

“A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like …”