I cling to our love like saran wrap on leftovers. If you want to know when dinner will be ready, the answer is last night. We could make love, or we could simply reheat what we already had.

“I ended up with the nomination, and the breasts to back up the voter’s confiden…”

“I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no ma…”

“I wasn’t dead, I was asleep. There’s a difference, however slight. That subtle …”

“With Mildred Feeblemeister dead, I’m now the world’s 77th greatest grandmother.”