I collect collect calls from the 80s. I prefer them in mint condition, meaning the phone's still ringing.

“I just made a fan gun. Instead of shooting bullets, it shoots the breeze. Just …”

“A blanket could be used to help acclimate your body for your after death experi…”

“My legs are so skinny they’re like arms on a clock. And the stars are like 1-12…”

“I may not be able to remember your name, but I remember your address and what t…”