I could never be a chef, because I could ‘t bare the thought of my art always turning to shit.

“Everyone in the world ages at exactly the same rate and time. We’re all getting…”

“When bananas blush, they turn brown, not red. And when tomatoes blush, you’ve p…”

“This is my logo for Billy Ross Landscaping”

“I talked to a mother of nine last night, and I thought, “Nine is nine years too…”