I couldn’t have pulled it off if you hadn’t have pulled out all those years ago. So thanks, dad.

“I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the ba…”

“When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for bein…”

“I listen to AM radio in the AM, and AM radio for an AM audience in my PM (thoug…”

“If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own c…”