I couldn’t make my doctor’s appointment because I was tied up. I’ll tell you, being kidnapped can be a real inconvenience.

“Question for your life: If your face looked like your ass, and I’m not implying…”

“I’m trying to cover all my bases so I can be a complete baseball nonplayer. I’v…”

“Welcome to,to,to,to,to Stutterville! P,p,p,please have a seat on your own lap.”

“We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things to…”