I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.


“The dollar isn’t worth its weight in gold, and the pound isn’t worth its weight…”

“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip.
”

“I got my spring cleaning done early this year. I did it over the summer.”

“Though my skull is the size of a soup bowl, everything in the universe—and more…”