I dance for a living. At the early bird special you can find me—doing the worm.

“I launder dirty money. You should see my washing machine. (It’s filthy!)”

“Getting to know somebody new—it’s part of the fun of avoiding people.”

“Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s ma…”

“A great way to steal other people’s stuff is to build a vault and have them vol…”