I decorated my ballsack in his honor. I wrote, “Welcome home, dad.

“If a billowy white cloud exploded, that’d be close to what my love looks like. …”

“A brick could be used to send a message. The quickest way to send it would be t…”

“Pants don’t walk without legs in them. Let that be a lesson in love.”

“I have aspirations of becoming the first man to put on a chicken suit, cross th…”