I didn’t get sucker punched. It was more of a lollipop.

“She had a smile like tomato sauce on Tuesdays, and she made my penis feel like …”

“I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead.”

“Freedom tastes like strawberries, vanilla, and blueberries. And it smells like …”

“I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fet…”