I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the sudden I had twice the dick in my mouth as before. It was almost more than I could swallow. Almost. 


“Get your head out of the clouds. Stop huffing the atmosphere.”

“I wear loud clothes. They aren’t bright colors, but I do have speakers sewn int…”

“I am the alphabet soup of love. Eat me or read me, but don’t feed me to the cat…”

“A brick could be used as a device to deliver bad news. Sometimes it's better to…”