I don’t endorse my checks, because what, am I just going to give away free autographs?

“He’s pale, bald, and bony. He looks like a skeleton. And that, my friend, is pr…”

“I want to mass produce wretchedness. An unsatisfactory factory. Then I want to …”

“If you’re at the bar trying to pick up women, remember: bend at the knees.”

“If you sound like shit, you sound like smell—which is crazy because smell looks…”