I don’t like chili, unless I’m wearing a jacket.

“A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. 
”

“Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper whil…”

“A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.”

“How’s my mom? My mother’s well, like a painting—a Motherwell.”