I don’t need a hearing aid—I need a listening aid. And this aid, she’d better be pleasing to look at.

“It’s not gay to jack off, so how could it be gay to give your clone a handjob? …”

“There’s only one way to respond to, “How do you like your dinosaur burger cooke…”

“Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the pe…”

“I collect hair. I keep most of it on my floor, but my most valuable patches I d…”