I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.


“A brick can’t cure cancer. But who knows, maybe a brick combined with a blanket…”

“I enjoy breakfast in bed. But not while I am sleeping, because that’s when I’m …”

“I trust politicians to do what’s right. For themselves.
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“I don’t use coarse humor, but occasionally I’ll joke about intercourse—between …”