I enjoy reading books by way of subtitles from the movies they got made into.

“I work in a hotel. I know what you’re probably thinking, and no, I am not a hoo…”

“I have the Denver Omelet of accents. And considering I’m from Denver, it makes …”

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know t…”

“A flag could be used as a blanket, but a blanket couldn’t be used as a flag. A …”