I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late.

“I don’t break wind—I repair it. I am the anti politician, because when one spea…”

“I’m a Pisces, and people say that Pisces make the best the best lovers. That’s …”

“We never know how bad we had it, until something better comes along and we get …”

“I could save money if I ate my coworker’s pussy for lunch, rather than going to…”