I got hit on at the bar last night, and this morning I have a black eye. Sometimes you can be so sexy that you offend, I guess.

“I think homeless people, like rainwater, are better off in street gutters, rath…”

“If I spent ten years in prison, I’d probably come to value the small things in …”

“You won’t ever catch me wearing an oven mitt, because what’s wrong with a regul…”

“When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiff…”