I got married at a good time, though a better time would have been 20 years from now.

“Walking along the sidewalk and staring at the street, I couldn’t help but wonde…”

“My future, it almost looks like Christmas—red and green—stop and go.”

“A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the ea…”

“Stupidity mixed with arrogance mixed with anger mixed with adrenaline is a dead…”