I got my girlfriend knocked up. Next time I’ll ring the doorbell before I enter. I think we’re about to witness the birth of a new me.

“I wanted to write “I Want” because wanting is one of the things I want most in …”

“A brick could be used as a period on a really large sentence. A blanket could b…”

“I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.”

“A brick could be God’s gift to man (and woman), and we wouldn’t even know it be…”